


life choices (and how not to make them)

by lovebeyondmeasure



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Awesome Natasha Romanov, Coffee, Deaf Clint Barton, Ficlet, Gen, Human Disaster Clint Barton
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 07:52:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12384024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovebeyondmeasure/pseuds/lovebeyondmeasure
Summary: “Clint,” Natasha said, holding up a canister, “what kind of coffee do you think you’re drinking?”





	life choices (and how not to make them)

Grocery shopping was a task best performed when well-rested and not hungry. Clint knew this. Like intellectually, he was aware of this. However, he was not very good at actually following through on this.

Because he tended to shamble into the grocery store after being awake for more than 24 hours, his pantry included:

  * 2 bottles of balsamic vinegar, both half empty
  * 3 bottles of ketchup
  * 16 packages of ramen
  * 2 unopened packages of chicken bullion cubes
  * 37 cheese sticks
  * 7 cans of Chef Boyardee ravioli
  * 5 canisters of coffee



Now, of all the assorted nonsense in his cabinets, it was the coffee that was the most dangerous, because two of the canisters were decaf. 

This was not obvious from the packaging, because Clint would never in his right mind buy decaf. Alas, he almost never managed to go grocery shopping in his right mind. He sometimes managed it while in pants, though.

All of this is to say that Natasha was unsurprised when she arrived at his apartment to see Clint swigging from his coffeepot, his face crumpled in a way that suggested serious regret.

“You were supposed to meet me an hour ago,” she announced by way of greeting, stepping directly into his line of sight. Clint jumped, sloshing a bit of the brew onto his pajama pants.

“I- what?” He turned up his hearing aids.

“An hour ago, Clint,” Natasha enunciated, wandering through his apartment. She knocked a few empty Chinese food containers into the trash can. “How long have you been awake?”

“I’unno, maybe an hour? I thought I still had time…” He squinted blearily at the clock.

 “Clint,” Natasha said, holding up a canister, “what kind of coffee do you think you’re drinking?”

 “Colombian,” he said promptly.

 “And it has caffeine?”

 “Yeah,” he said suspiciously. “It…. should.”

 “It doesn’t.” She held up the can. The banner reading “decaffeinated” was not incredibly prominent, and Nat knew it would not have registered to Clint after a two-dumpster night.

 “Aw, coffee,” he said, holding up the pot to eye level. “How could you?”

 Natasha tossed the mostly-full canister into the trash. He wouldn’t be needing the rest of it.

 “I covered for you with Fury, but we’re already late. Go put on some real clothes. I’ll get us an espresso on the way.”

 “Way to what?” Clint asked, muffled by the shirt around his neck. “We on a mission? I don’t really do those anymore. I thought I was meeting you for lunch.”

 “Lunch, debriefing, eh,” she shrugged carelessly. “Tac pants, not jeans.”

 Clint stumbled back into the living room a few minutes later, hefting a go-bag. “So, Fury wants us somewhere? What does he need me for?”

“I’ll tell you on the plane.”

“Plane?” Clint looked apprehensive. “I told you-”

“I know,” she said, steering him towards the door. “You’ll feel better after some real coffee, I promise. Should be pretty simple, anyway, Fury just wants a good marksman on the team.”

“So where are we going?” Clint, fishing out his keys to lock the door on the unwashed coffee pot, full trashcan, pile of laundry, and the rest. He’d deal with it when he got back. Probably.

As the lock clicked, Natasha said casually, “Budapest.”

**Author's Note:**

> Anon asked: how about clint barton and 'decaf' for a ficlet??
> 
> So here that is! Hope you like it, anon!
> 
> Send me more prompts and find more nonsense 24/7 over at lovebeyondmeasure.tumblr.com


End file.
